LeIgHtOn RhYmEs WiTh Seitan

Where's my Chicken Report?!

Entries by tag: family

It's over. It's oh oh over.

#IamVotingRomneyBecause I don't think you should be allowed to drink coffee anymore.

My guess: Romney will win in a squeaker brought about by lower-class white males' enthusiasm to be further economically repressed in exchange for closed borders and extra shooting opportunities. Bonus factor: voter suppression works.
I'm looking at the Wisconsin recall failure as an example of how polls can be very skewed to the left by ignoring these things.

Not that there isn't huge enthusiasm in First World Problem Central, Lakeview, Chicago:

My work often has me in Englewood, on the South Side of Chicago. Yes, that Englewood:
Probably not going to be a super upbeat place after a tense Obama loss.

Politics almost never drastically affect my white male reality, by design.
But there was a pause in my Republican mother's thoughts as I explained I could not easily afford to be in architecture again because healthcare costs are so high for any kind of freelancer / designer. Most design offices have very poor or zero benefits compared to those of trucking / logistics firms, so I'll likely be a glorified truck driver (much to her chagrin) for a bit longer if healthcare reform is reversed and I have to wait for a joke of a promised Romney trickle down of replacement healthcare policies.

#IamVotingRomneyBecause it should be federally required to say "Good Mormon" in public before noon.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Beachouse is such a dirty word, Croc
Remember when people dressed up to fly on commercial aircraft?
Apparently the people who took off their shoes and put their feet up on the seats in front of them had that memory wiped by a Wal Mart or Red Lobster™ Brand Brain Wiper. BTW, those people were in First Class.

Cabin dwellers stayin' so classie were a sure sign we were on the final connecting flight back to Michigan...
Oooh, look,... our mayor's in jail.

Atlanta has one of the worst Air Purgatories posing as an airport. But they do have an ominous, repeating message that wearing Crocs or flip flops on their conveyor sidewalks will result in the de-footing death of you and your kids. Atlanta's Hartsfield Airport is officially the greatest place on earth... despite the shit stains on the urinals.

Was it Jesus or Bill Mahr who said that it's only a small step from wearing plastic garden shoes in public to strolling malls in diapers (and wearing IVs mainlining liquified McDonald's fries)?

There is a place for flip flops though: on private beaches, where nudity and guns are allowed. Since no nude beaches were near our beachouse†, can you guess which shoes were mine:

† the Word Beachouse is used instead of "Beach House" because it is redundant in the same way Kristofferson is plenty to describe the singer you know I am referring to. Any extra space and consonant production is a waste of valuable meth time. (See Speedealer for details.)

Similarly, I have been hating the band "Beach House" simply because they are named "Beach House". Beach houses are dumb and so is any band who would associate with them, right?

In both cases I am mostly, horribly wrong:
The band Beach House is actually great. Sure the videos are the same old twee crap, but the girl's voice is amazing. And goth pop is not twee bullshit. It can kill you.

Also, staying in a beach house that cost almost $1 million is dumb, but having central air blasting all the time is a decadence we can live with for a few days until an Alaska move is realized.

Similarly 400sf of granite countertops are insane: food (bacteria!) cakes in the crevices. Overpriced building materials = Salmonella Semolina Caserolla. (not vegan) But you can pretend to be Caesar while cutting greens.

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