Kermit

leighton


LeIgHtOn RhYmEs WiTh Seitan

Where's my Chicken Report?!


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Kermit
leighton

On the new transporter:

This is possibly the most un-hip bike with limited availability, because:

This Varsity reissue is only available at, wait for it....

Wal Mart...
SACRILEGE!
Their mass distribution makes it cost less than the custom steel forks stolen off my neighbor's un-braked fixie. ($200!) As penance for my Wal sins, all supporting purchases (lights, lock, helmet) were bought at local, snobless** bike shops.

** I just bought a spare tire, two tubes and a helmet at a working-class Philly bike shop for $38! Yes, the helmet is used, but it's sweet and I found zero brain chunks inside it.


It's decidedly not a fixie. Outside of certain flat urban areas and velodromes, having only one gear is just a fashion statement. This bike has already been ridden in five hilly cities and mountain states, something that would've been unpleasant on a more-expensive hippeddler with a single gear and no brakes. Also, Wal Mart sells fixies. How cool is that?

Schwinns are now vaguely OK with the neon sunglasses crew but only in original, impractical iterations. Mine weighs one third the mass of my original, has really good Shimano hardware, and cost less than a poorly-restored original.


Just by pointing these things out, I realize I have become the worst kind of snob: a snob snob.

Signed,

Meta Hipster Grandpa and the girl who would call him that if she read this post:

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


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